knife_bender | MHA # 2 | Tuesday Evening

"But you didn't," Diego said, running his hand along her back soothingly. "I mean, he has to believe that."

"He did his laser eyes at me in the middle of the meeting."

And it had been so incredibly scary. Annie almost felt bad for how many times she'd turned her own glowing eyes on people.

"So no, I don't think he does. I think he thinks I'm a traitor," Annie said with a little sniffle. "And there's -- Diego, he thinks you're involved."

And while the laser eyes had been scary as all hell, the idea of Homelander threatening Diego -- and that's what that had been, an implicit threat -- made her want to throw up or faint or, like, move to another dimension to keep him safe.

Diego pulled back slightly, looking confused. "How does he even know who I am?"

If he really thought about it he would come to the conclusion that he and Annie had been really bad about hiding their relationship.

"Because I haven't been taking the secret thing seriously enough," Annie sighed, shaking her head.

Of course she blamed herself. She was the one who'd been warned, even if Maeve had been so fucking cryptic about it that Annie hadn't known it had been a warning until too late.

"He had all these...pictures of you. From Believe Expo, and when you visited. And he was so pissed that I kept you quiet." She cleared her throat, adding, "Maeve told me to break up with you, after The Deep thing. Or at least, to pretend I didn't have a boyfriend."

As with all things Maeve, she had not exactly been clear.

"And I thought it was about the press, but...I think it was Homelander." Both because of how Maeve had reacted in there, and because of the years and years of Maeve-and-Homelander on-again/off-again romance. Annie now wondered how much of that, if any of it, was true.

"That's disturbing." Both the fact that Homelander had been watching them that closely, and the fact that he was mad she kept it a secret.

"You and I didn't do anything wrong," he said, trying to be reassuring. He knew that it didn't really matter if they had done anything or not, if Homelander wanted them dead they'd be dead.

"I know we didn't, but I'm not sure it matters," Annie said softly, shaking her head and leaning into him again before actually wincing a bit and pulling back. "Fuck me, getting shot hurts."

Like, thank God for bulletproof skin, but she was not going to be cavalier about it in the future. It was one thing to brag about, and it was another entirely to take two bullets that big at that close range.

"Yeah, it's not fun. And they got you, like, head on," Diego said, frowning. "Do you want me to get you some ice or something?"

This was the first time he'd been faced with an injury like this.

"That would probably good," Annie said, because she had no idea, either. She usually didn't...get hurt? Like at all?

She reached into her bag, pulling out the bullets. "I got to keep the souvenirs," she said, holding them out. "Fifty caliber rounds."

Both bullets were actually bigger than her hand, so...at least it was kind of impressive, right?

It was both very impressive and terrifying at the same time. "Jesus, Annie, I'm glad you're okay."

Diego would be way dead if that had happened to him.

"Here, lie down on the couch I'll get you some ice."

Annie did as told and went over to lay down on the couch, super unused to being in a position of needing to be taken care of like this. She went ahead and pulled her shirt off as she did so, dropping it on the floor with her purse (and the bullets, which she put back in her bag.)

She stretched out, peeking down at the welt on her chest, directly in the center of it above her breasts. The other was a little lower, and she gingerly nudged it with a wince.

"You're not allowed to get shot again," she called softly. "Not if this is what it's like for me."

"I have no plans to," Diego said, coming back over with an ice pack covered by a towel. "God, the one on your chest looks even worse."

"It was the first shot," Annie said, sighing. "That asshole has really good aim."

Royal Marine sniper training would do that.

"I just feel so stupid," she added, softly.

The Compound V stuff didn't make her feel any smarter. What other stupid shit did she believe in?

"You're not," he said, sitting on the edge of the couch. He went to gently put the ice pack against the welt on her chest. "You're trusting, and you see the best in people. It's a good trait to have, even if it backfired this time."

Annie winced very slightly, more at the cold than anything else. "It's backfired a bunch," she said, shaking her head. "I thought Homelander was nice, too, and...no. No. He's so scary. Maeve ended up getting him to back off, but...I thought was going to kill me. Maybe believing in people is dumb."

Because these days, everyone was just disappointing her, with a few exceptions.

Diego frowned, but didn't say anything. She was upset for good reason and Diego would let her be pessimistic for a bit if it made her feel better.

"Are you going to go back?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know yet," Annie admitted quietly, worrying her lower lip for a second. "There's one more thing."

And this was, in a lot of ways, the most crushing blow of all.

"Hughie...Hughie tried to tell me why they're doing all of this," she started carefully. "And apparently Vought is up to some really bad shit."

Which, like, was yet another thing that seemed obvious, and yet Annie was so embarrassed at how stupidly she'd just bought into the idea that they were the good guys.

Diego pulled back the ice for a moment, frowning. "What kind of bad shit?"

"He said we're not...that we're not born with powers?" Annie said, totally making it a question like Diego was going to have an answer, here. "That there's this drug that Vought uses, called Compound V. And that's how we get our powers."

The implications were still kind of hitting her in stages. Like how it must have happened when she was a baby, and how her parents had to have known.

Assuming it was true, anyway. And it had seemed true.

"Whoa." Diego understood the implications of that. He didn't know what he'd do if he found out his powers were manufactured. His sole sense of purpose revolved around the fact he was chosen to help people.

"Do you believe him?"

"I don't want to."

Which meant that yeah, she kind of did. Hughie had seemed sincere. She'd known he was full of it when he'd asked for those Ezekiel passes, but he'd been different when he'd told her about Compound V. More like he'd been when he'd told her about his girlfriend.

His girlfriend that A-Train had -- okay. One thing at a time.

"I'm gonna go ask my mom tomorrow," she continued quietly. "See what she has to say. Because...like, I was raised to believe I was chosen. No -- that I was blessed, you know?"

Which, like, on top of last weekend, was making it really hard for her to figure out where she stood with God, too.

Whether she even believed in God, if everything else in her life was apparently just a pretty lie she'd been dumb enough to believe.

"I get it," he said, moving closer. "You're talking to the guy who was adopted for the sole reason of having powers."

He bit his lower lip thoughtfully as he thought more about the implications of Compound V. "If that's true--Annie, Jesus, that changes everything about Vought."

Though it did line up better with the way Annie had been treated over the last couple weeks by the company.

Well, and if you'd asked Annie up until a couple hours ago, she would have said that Diego and his siblings had been chosen by God, too.

She'd actually never been so grateful they were from different universes, since Diego could probably at least still count on the idea that his powers were a part of him, and not -- some kind of additive.

Like, who would she have been been if she hadn't had powers? She'd had them as long as she could remember. She'd always been Starlight. And now it turned out that there was always an alternative that she hadn't even been allowed to know about.

"It changes everything about everything," she said softly. "Everything, my whole life, has been a fucking lie. Vought, my parents...but yeah, especially Vought."

No wonder they treated her like a product. She was one. And they'd made her.

"Hey," he said quietly, reaching out to cup her cheek. "You're still you."

"But who would I have been without this?" Annie asked, managing a sad little half-smile for him. "I've always been Starlight. And I love my powers and I'm grateful for them, but I'm -- it hasn't always been easy and I never got the choice."

"I know. It's unfair, and it really sucks," he said, reaching for her hand. "But you're just going to drive yourself crazy thinking about what might have been."

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