Baltimore | Tuesday Night

[knife_bender]

It was slower than usual on the island with everybody gone. Diego was never the type to be idle so he took this as his chance to go to Baltimore and fight some crime. It wasn't that hard to get a feel for the city and he had already stopped a mugging in progress. Without stabbing anybody, even!

He decided to patrol for a little while longer, keeping to the shadowy areas of the streets because he was wearing a domino mask and even he could admit that was a bit weird.

[For two!]

Comments

[grenadesandohana]

"I helped too!" Steve insisted, though no, he had not. "I kept them all safe from angry thwarted lizard smugglers!"

[knife_bender]

"Steve has a point." Well that's what you get for dragging him into this, Danny.

[hatesparadise]

Diego, he was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!

"Steve does not have a point. Also, Steve already owes me dinner and beer."

[grenadesandohana]

"Diego's now my favorite," Steve declared. "Maybe he wants dinner and a beer."

[knife_bender]

“I mean I wouldn’t say no...”

Wait, how did he get in the middle of this lover’s quarrel again?

[hatesparadise]

He put himself there, honestly. Classic dysfunctional middle child, that.

"Oh, well then. By all means."

Danny would be so very disappointed in both of them.

[grenadesandohana]

"Danny can come, too," Steve decided, "if he's done with the paperwork."

Third wheel on a non-date, Diego! Won't that be fun?!

[knife_bender]

Hey he wasn’t a middle child he was tied for oldest. With six other people.

“That’s very generous of you,” Diego said, snickering. “Come on let’s get this over with before we have the ice cream mafia here trying to get their drugs back.”

[hatesparadise]

Same thing, Diego. Same thing.

"Wallet," Danny said, not about to let Steve worm his way out of paying if this was how it was gonna go.

[grenadesandohana]

"I have my wallet!" Steve said, sounding offended.

Just because Danny had an excellent reason for checking didn't mean Steve wasn't going to be mad about it.

[knife_bender]

Diego had never seen his parents bicker--probably because one was an android programmed to obey--but he had the feeling this was close to how it felt.

He just reached for a Rocket Pop to eat because he knew he sure as hell wasn't paying. He never brought his wallet to these things; that was wasted space that could be used for more knives.

[hatesparadise]

It was! Wait, was this some sort of therapy for him?

"Wallet, Steven," Danny repeated. "Don't think I won't find it for myself."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve made a face at him and lifted his arms. "Frisk me, then."

COMPLETELY NORMAL CO-WORKER BEHAVIOR.

[knife_bender]

"Whoa, whoa--" Diego held his hands over his face, getting some popsicle in his hair. "I don't need to see this."

[hatesparadise]

"He will pretend he forgot his wallet once the bill comes," Danny said, doing the perfectly normal coworker/friend thing of digging through the many, many pockets of Steve's cargo pants to find the wallet.

You know, those poor local Baltimore cops were arriving to what looked like an aggressive groping while some guy was trying his best not to see it happen in front of him.

[grenadesandohana]

Which was probably why they immediately tackled Steve to the ground.

"What the hell," he yelled as his head against the pavement.

[knife_bender]

"Hey, hey, it's cool--" Diego just dropped his popsicle for you, Steve, you better appreciate it. "--he didn't do anything!"

[hatesparadise]

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Danny said, firmly backing Diego up here. "We're cops!"

Mostly.

[grenadesandohana]

"Jackass," Steve muttered with the kind of self-assurance than came with being a six foot tall white dude with extensive martial arts experience. "Let me up."

[knife_bender]

"Should have just ditched the truck and left an anonymous tip," Diego muttered. "Donuts and dinner aren't worth this."

[hatesparadise]

"Jesus," Danny said. But he had Steve's wallet, and that was the important thing here. "Fine. Go get your food. I'll handle these numbskulls."

[grenadesandohana]

"We won't drink all the beer," Steve said with a grin, jerking his head towards the nearest crab place. "We'll be over there. Make sure you get their badge numbers."

Mr. Oh Noes, They're Not Home, Probably, Let's Blow Up Their Door cared about procedure now, apparently.

[knife_bender]

Diego gave Danny a wave as he followed Steve. He too only cared about procedure when someone else was handling it while he drank beer and had crab fries.

He was Mr. Oh Noes, They're Not Home, Probably, Throw Himself Bodily Through A Window To Get Inside.

[hatesparadise]

And Danny was Mr. Jesus Christ, Just Let Me Get A Warrant--WHY ARE YOU ON THE ROOF?!

Joke was on them, he was buying himself a lot of beer on Steve's dime after he dealt with this. The poor detective that had the bad luck of working with him the last couple times looked horrified by everything as Danny waved at him.

[grenadesandohana]

That detective was wiiiise.

Steve grinned at Diego. "Want to smack some crabs with a hammer?"

Food + violence = winning!