Baltimore | Tuesday Night

[knife_bender]

It was slower than usual on the island with everybody gone. Diego was never the type to be idle so he took this as his chance to go to Baltimore and fight some crime. It wasn't that hard to get a feel for the city and he had already stopped a mugging in progress. Without stabbing anybody, even!

He decided to patrol for a little while longer, keeping to the shadowy areas of the streets because he was wearing a domino mask and even he could admit that was a bit weird.

[For two!]

Comments

[knife_bender]

Diego had never seen his parents bicker--probably because one was an android programmed to obey--but he had the feeling this was close to how it felt.

He just reached for a Rocket Pop to eat because he knew he sure as hell wasn't paying. He never brought his wallet to these things; that was wasted space that could be used for more knives.

[hatesparadise]

It was! Wait, was this some sort of therapy for him?

"Wallet, Steven," Danny repeated. "Don't think I won't find it for myself."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve made a face at him and lifted his arms. "Frisk me, then."

COMPLETELY NORMAL CO-WORKER BEHAVIOR.

[knife_bender]

"Whoa, whoa--" Diego held his hands over his face, getting some popsicle in his hair. "I don't need to see this."

[hatesparadise]

"He will pretend he forgot his wallet once the bill comes," Danny said, doing the perfectly normal coworker/friend thing of digging through the many, many pockets of Steve's cargo pants to find the wallet.

You know, those poor local Baltimore cops were arriving to what looked like an aggressive groping while some guy was trying his best not to see it happen in front of him.

[grenadesandohana]

Which was probably why they immediately tackled Steve to the ground.

"What the hell," he yelled as his head against the pavement.

[knife_bender]

"Hey, hey, it's cool--" Diego just dropped his popsicle for you, Steve, you better appreciate it. "--he didn't do anything!"

[hatesparadise]

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Danny said, firmly backing Diego up here. "We're cops!"

Mostly.

[grenadesandohana]

"Jackass," Steve muttered with the kind of self-assurance than came with being a six foot tall white dude with extensive martial arts experience. "Let me up."

[knife_bender]

"Should have just ditched the truck and left an anonymous tip," Diego muttered. "Donuts and dinner aren't worth this."

[hatesparadise]

"Jesus," Danny said. But he had Steve's wallet, and that was the important thing here. "Fine. Go get your food. I'll handle these numbskulls."

[grenadesandohana]

"We won't drink all the beer," Steve said with a grin, jerking his head towards the nearest crab place. "We'll be over there. Make sure you get their badge numbers."

Mr. Oh Noes, They're Not Home, Probably, Let's Blow Up Their Door cared about procedure now, apparently.

[knife_bender]

Diego gave Danny a wave as he followed Steve. He too only cared about procedure when someone else was handling it while he drank beer and had crab fries.

He was Mr. Oh Noes, They're Not Home, Probably, Throw Himself Bodily Through A Window To Get Inside.

[hatesparadise]

And Danny was Mr. Jesus Christ, Just Let Me Get A Warrant--WHY ARE YOU ON THE ROOF?!

Joke was on them, he was buying himself a lot of beer on Steve's dime after he dealt with this. The poor detective that had the bad luck of working with him the last couple times looked horrified by everything as Danny waved at him.

[grenadesandohana]

That detective was wiiiise.

Steve grinned at Diego. "Want to smack some crabs with a hammer?"

Food + violence = winning!

[knife_bender]

"Absolutely." That did sound pretty fun, actually.

It was all fun and games until someone got Old Bay in the eye.

[grenadesandohana]

Or lemon juice in the crab-related hand cuts!

"We'll get a couple dozen and maybe save Danny a few," Steve said, smirking at Danny as they walked into the restaurant and sat down at a paper-covered table.

"Beer, please," he said to the waitress as she materialized. "And crabs. And napkins."

He remembered how this worked from his school days in Annapolis.

[knife_bender]

"Pretty sure this is my first time pulverizing crabs like this," Diego said, looking around at the other people. He was fairly sure Sir Reginald would have keeled over a mess like that.

"Looks fun though."

[grenadesandohana]

"It's totally fun," Steve said as the waitress poured out a dozen crabs onto the table in front of them. "Just don't inhale too close or you'll be coughing Old Bay for a week."

He brought a crab close and then gave a quick and dirty tutorial on how to whack the crab with the hammer, remove the claws and not eat the gross parts.

[knife_bender]

It really should not be this complicated to eat something. It was fun, yeah, but at what cost?

It should be no surprise to anyone that Diego was much better at taking a knife and opening up the crab.

"They should have just left an entire roll of paper towels," he said, looking at his Old Bay covered hands.

[hatesparadise]

Well, Danny had managed to talk that poor detective down from a ledge, explaining what happened with the practice of someone who had worked with Steve McGarrett for the last four years.

Which was why he only looked moderately pissed when he finally stomped into the place after them.

"You both look like toddlers just learning to feed themselves," he informed them.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve tossed a completely non-absorbent wadded-up napkin at him. "Fine, then no crabs for you."

[knife_bender]

"You calm down the BPD?" Diego asked.

[hatesparadise]

Danny batted away the napkin to take a seat and flag down the server for a beer. "Yeah, they're not happy. I was not so subtly asked to stop coming to Baltimore like this is all my fault or something."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve slid his beer over to Danny while he waited because coworkers definitely share drinks.

"Well, we're definitely ignoring that," Steve said. "Just think of all the crime that they're not catching if we've dealt with it every time we're here!"