Baltimore | Tuesday Night

[knife_bender]

It was slower than usual on the island with everybody gone. Diego was never the type to be idle so he took this as his chance to go to Baltimore and fight some crime. It wasn't that hard to get a feel for the city and he had already stopped a mugging in progress. Without stabbing anybody, even!

He decided to patrol for a little while longer, keeping to the shadowy areas of the streets because he was wearing a domino mask and even he could admit that was a bit weird.

[For two!]

Comments

[grenadesandohana]

"It's totally fun," Steve said as the waitress poured out a dozen crabs onto the table in front of them. "Just don't inhale too close or you'll be coughing Old Bay for a week."

He brought a crab close and then gave a quick and dirty tutorial on how to whack the crab with the hammer, remove the claws and not eat the gross parts.

[knife_bender]

It really should not be this complicated to eat something. It was fun, yeah, but at what cost?

It should be no surprise to anyone that Diego was much better at taking a knife and opening up the crab.

"They should have just left an entire roll of paper towels," he said, looking at his Old Bay covered hands.

[hatesparadise]

Well, Danny had managed to talk that poor detective down from a ledge, explaining what happened with the practice of someone who had worked with Steve McGarrett for the last four years.

Which was why he only looked moderately pissed when he finally stomped into the place after them.

"You both look like toddlers just learning to feed themselves," he informed them.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve tossed a completely non-absorbent wadded-up napkin at him. "Fine, then no crabs for you."

[knife_bender]

"You calm down the BPD?" Diego asked.

[hatesparadise]

Danny batted away the napkin to take a seat and flag down the server for a beer. "Yeah, they're not happy. I was not so subtly asked to stop coming to Baltimore like this is all my fault or something."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve slid his beer over to Danny while he waited because coworkers definitely share drinks.

"Well, we're definitely ignoring that," Steve said. "Just think of all the crime that they're not catching if we've dealt with it every time we're here!"

[knife_bender]

"They really should be thanking us," Diego agreed before demolishing another poor innocent crab with a hammer.

[hatesparadise]

"Thanks, babe," Danny said, taking a long sip of the beer. God knows he needed it after tonight. "You keep off their radar with your weird Zorro get-up. If I get a call about some knife-wielding lunatic..."

[grenadesandohana]

"We'll tell them it's one of our CIs and they shouldn't mess with him," Steve said around a clawful of crab.

[knife_bender]

"See? It's fine," Diego said. "Also probably shouldn't throw around the word lunatic like that. Hurts my feelings."

Said the person who would end up in a mental institution.

[hatesparadise]

At least Steve couldn't give him a badge here. Because he had trouble with that. Stop giving a badge to everyone you're friends with.

"Oh, are you hurt? My apologies," Danny said with all due sarcasm.

[grenadesandohana]

They were friendship bracelets plus guns! Best idea ever!

"He says hurtful things," Steve said, nodding sympathetically. "Calls me an animal alllll the time."

[knife_bender]

Diego lifted his eyebrows. "Things I don't need to know."

[hatesparadise]

Danny shot him a confused look, but let it go as another round of beers arrived. Thank god.

"Both of you are lunatics, how about that?"

[grenadesandohana]

"That's not any better," Steve said, getting the new beer and pulling the crabs out of Danny's immediate reach. "We've both hurt now."

[knife_bender]

"I'm beginning to think it's a façade," Diego said, grabbing another beer. "He hides his affection for us behind insults."

No that was you, Diego.

[hatesparadise]

That actually was true. But he also showed it with hugs and emotional talks.

"Give me my crab, you putz," Danny grumbled, having nothing to refute that with.

[grenadesandohana]

"He's mad because you figured it out so fast," Steve told Diego.

[knife_bender]

Diego smirked and shrugged. "I've had some experience."

He didn't think Five had ever said anything to him that didn't contain an insult.

[hatesparadise]

...okay, that was fair.

"I say these things because they are true." And he cared.

[grenadesandohana]

"I am not a putz," Steve said, shaking a crab at Danny for emphasis.

[knife_bender]

"And I am not a lunatic." Though he had every right to be considering his childhood!

[hatesparadise]

"Debatable."

[grenadesandohana]

"Do you want a crab?" Steve demanded. "Stop being a schmuck."

A word he had absolutely learned from Danny.