MHA #2 | Monday Morning

[knife_bender]

It had been twelve years since Diego spent a lot of time with a sibling and sixteen years since he had dealt with Five. Still, he should have known better than to tease his brother as much as he did about the Peter Pan uniform the island had given him.

When he had walked into his apartment on Monday morning the whole place was wrecked. Anything that had been on a shelf was now on the floor, all of the snacks (that he had specifically bought for that little shit)  were spread out in the kitchen and he was fairly sure Five bought a plant just to knock it over in Diego's living room. 

He stood there for a few moments, looking at the mess, and letting the anger just stew for a moment. Then he took out a knife and started stabbing at one of his couch cushions. 

Better the cushion than his own brother. 

[Post is open and angry lol. Five being an asshole modded with permission]

Comments

[knife_bender]

"He's all pissy because he got stuck in a dress all weekend and I didn't," Diego said. "I may have made fun of him about it a little."

Just a little! He looked so stupid how could Diego not mention it?

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I mean, me too, but there's a way to deal with it," Annie replied, looking around at the damage as she crossed over to him. "Like...wow."

And in fact, the way she had chosen to deal with it was kind of directly in the opposite direction. "I brought you coffee," she added a little lamely, holding it out.

[knife_bender]

"He's got some anger issues." Note Diego was dropping a knife onto the couch as he said that.

He walked over to grab the coffee, leaning in to give Annie a quick kiss. "Thank you."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I figured I owed you," Annie admitted, leaning into that kiss a little because she was just going to be a little grateful he wasn't immediately giving her shit about the singing and the tulle. "Where'd that plant come from?"

Because she didn't remember it being here before. Maybe Five had courteously bought Diego a plant after making his apartment girlfriend-unfriendly for weeks.

[knife_bender]

"Yeah I'm pretty sure he bought me a plant for the sole purpose of knocking it over." Which was kind of a brilliant dick move.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"That's...dedication." Annie stared at the plant for a moment before eyeing the ambient destruction. "Man, I thought I had it bad this weekend, but I definitely didn't have it, like, buy-a-plant-to-knock-it-over bad. This is...genuinely kind of impressive."

Like, in a bad way. Use these talents for good, Five.

[knife_bender]

Diego pulled out his phone and opened it to the picture he managed to take. Which, thinking back on it, was probably what made Five wreck his apartment in the first place.

Still Diego looked pretty proud when he held up the photo of the grumpy Peter Pan.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Oh my God." Annie shouldn't laugh - she had let a chipmunk touch her hair twice - but she did, anyway. She couldn't help it. "I mean, he looks so mad about it." Which was hilarious, but also...you know, probably the cause of the destruction.

[knife_bender]

"I know, it's great," Diego said. It almost made the apartment disaster worth it. "Makes your weekend pretty good in comparison, doesn't it?"

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I mean, I touched so many woodland creatures, Diego," Annie said, wincing as she leaned in to look closer at the picture. "And that dress was a whole - but yeah, this looks a lot worse."

If only because her disposition was naturally a lot more Disney-friendly than Five's was.

[knife_bender]

"Well none of them looked like they had rabies if that's what you're worried about," he said. "The dress was really bad though."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"It was really heavy," Annie told him, because that part had been kind of surprising for her. "You were cute."

Because he had been, what with the dancing and the wanting her to stay away from princes and all. "Even if it's wildly unfair you didn't get hit with the...whatever." And see, she could just use her words and say she felt it was unfair, Five.

[knife_bender]

"I'm sure something will hit me again eventually." He didn't think he was lucky enough to avoid everything. "And, hey, you let me brush up on my ballroom dancing."

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie rolled her eyes good-naturedly, even as she flushed (in a much more natural, actually-embarrassed-looking way than she had all weekend.) "One of the things you were cute about," she replied, going onto her toes a little to press a light kiss against his cheek. "So...like, I can go get my vacuum."

Because call her crazy, but she did not think Diego had the cleaning supplies necessary for this job. And of course she was going to help clean it up, that wasn't even a question.

[knife_bender]

Diego waved his hand. "It's fine. I've lived in dumpier places."

He would clean it little by little as he needed stuff that had been thrown on the floor.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"It's not fine, there's a knocked-over plant on the floor," Annie pointed out, shaking her head. "Kind of a shame I don't think I can get squirrels to do my bidding anymore, though."

Because between squirrels and birds it would probably go pretty quick if they had animal help.

[knife_bender]

"I mean, I heard they can be bribed, but I don't want them touching my stuff." They really creeped him out, the perverts.

"Maybe I can knock Five out, drag him here, and make him clean it up."

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie was just going to give him a very skeptical look as she sipped her coffee.

Because she didn't know Five that well, but that didn't sound like it was going to work at all. If nothing else it seemed like it'd be hard to make Five stay anywhere he didn't want to stay, let alone do anything he didn't want to do.

[knife_bender]

Diego sighed. "But I don't wanna clean."

It was sad when a grown man covered in knives was being whiny.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I'll help," Annie assured him, and she was just going to cross over to his couch to survey the damage done to that cushion. "Doesn't have to be right this second, but I'll help." Because she was not going to just allow you to live in squalor, Diego. "Have you checked everywhere?"

Because she wouldn't put past Five to have like, hidden something awful in Diego's bed or something.

[knife_bender]

"Yeah, this is the worst of it." Luckily most siblings were not willing to touch a bed where they knew sex had happened. At least not without gloves on. Gross.

"One of these days I might really kill him."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Be the bigger man, Diego." Annie wasn't even making a joke, although that was pretty funny. She poked her finger into one of the holes that had been stabbed into that cushion, glancing up at him. "He definitely owes you an apology, at least."

Annie. What planet did you live on?

[knife_bender]

"Oh yeah, that'll happen," he said. "He'll be right after Dad in the apology line."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Well, he's actually here," Annie pointed out, "so I think you've got a slightly better shot at getting it out of Five."

She sighed. "But this does kind of make me want to hang onto the gift I got him." So there, Five! She would spite you by keeping something you never even knew she got for you and probably wouldn't appreciate, anyway!

[knife_bender]

"You got him a gift?" he asked. "Why?"