MHA #2 | Monday Morning

[knife_bender]

It had been twelve years since Diego spent a lot of time with a sibling and sixteen years since he had dealt with Five. Still, he should have known better than to tease his brother as much as he did about the Peter Pan uniform the island had given him.

When he had walked into his apartment on Monday morning the whole place was wrecked. Anything that had been on a shelf was now on the floor, all of the snacks (that he had specifically bought for that little shit)  were spread out in the kitchen and he was fairly sure Five bought a plant just to knock it over in Diego's living room. 

He stood there for a few moments, looking at the mess, and letting the anger just stew for a moment. Then he took out a knife and started stabbing at one of his couch cushions. 

Better the cushion than his own brother. 

[Post is open and angry lol. Five being an asshole modded with permission]

Comments

[defenderofdesmoines]

"It was really heavy," Annie told him, because that part had been kind of surprising for her. "You were cute."

Because he had been, what with the dancing and the wanting her to stay away from princes and all. "Even if it's wildly unfair you didn't get hit with the...whatever." And see, she could just use her words and say she felt it was unfair, Five.

[knife_bender]

"I'm sure something will hit me again eventually." He didn't think he was lucky enough to avoid everything. "And, hey, you let me brush up on my ballroom dancing."

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie rolled her eyes good-naturedly, even as she flushed (in a much more natural, actually-embarrassed-looking way than she had all weekend.) "One of the things you were cute about," she replied, going onto her toes a little to press a light kiss against his cheek. "So...like, I can go get my vacuum."

Because call her crazy, but she did not think Diego had the cleaning supplies necessary for this job. And of course she was going to help clean it up, that wasn't even a question.

[knife_bender]

Diego waved his hand. "It's fine. I've lived in dumpier places."

He would clean it little by little as he needed stuff that had been thrown on the floor.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"It's not fine, there's a knocked-over plant on the floor," Annie pointed out, shaking her head. "Kind of a shame I don't think I can get squirrels to do my bidding anymore, though."

Because between squirrels and birds it would probably go pretty quick if they had animal help.

[knife_bender]

"I mean, I heard they can be bribed, but I don't want them touching my stuff." They really creeped him out, the perverts.

"Maybe I can knock Five out, drag him here, and make him clean it up."

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie was just going to give him a very skeptical look as she sipped her coffee.

Because she didn't know Five that well, but that didn't sound like it was going to work at all. If nothing else it seemed like it'd be hard to make Five stay anywhere he didn't want to stay, let alone do anything he didn't want to do.

[knife_bender]

Diego sighed. "But I don't wanna clean."

It was sad when a grown man covered in knives was being whiny.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I'll help," Annie assured him, and she was just going to cross over to his couch to survey the damage done to that cushion. "Doesn't have to be right this second, but I'll help." Because she was not going to just allow you to live in squalor, Diego. "Have you checked everywhere?"

Because she wouldn't put past Five to have like, hidden something awful in Diego's bed or something.

[knife_bender]

"Yeah, this is the worst of it." Luckily most siblings were not willing to touch a bed where they knew sex had happened. At least not without gloves on. Gross.

"One of these days I might really kill him."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Be the bigger man, Diego." Annie wasn't even making a joke, although that was pretty funny. She poked her finger into one of the holes that had been stabbed into that cushion, glancing up at him. "He definitely owes you an apology, at least."

Annie. What planet did you live on?

[knife_bender]

"Oh yeah, that'll happen," he said. "He'll be right after Dad in the apology line."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Well, he's actually here," Annie pointed out, "so I think you've got a slightly better shot at getting it out of Five."

She sighed. "But this does kind of make me want to hang onto the gift I got him." So there, Five! She would spite you by keeping something you never even knew she got for you and probably wouldn't appreciate, anyway!

[knife_bender]

"You got him a gift?" he asked. "Why?"

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Because I want him to like me," Annie said, like it was obvious. "And I thought maybe a bribe would work!"

She had thought it was a pretty solid plan!

[knife_bender]

"He's like the only one that won't work with," Diego said. "What did you get him?"

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Giftcard to the Perk," Annie admitted, sighing. "Because he obviously likes coffee."

See, she had been paying attention that morning, despite the flagrant violation of their privacy and her despair over the Poptart theft. Annie was actually pretty observant, even in the face of total confusion.

[knife_bender]

"I'm guessing coffee isn't at its best in the apocalypse," Diego said. "That was nice of you."

It wasn't going to work, but it was nice of her.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Well." Annie gestured to the rampant destruction. "It might be undeserved niceness and I might keep it, now. That poor plant."

She was just going to go over there and try to gather up the dirt back into the pot, at least. This plant didn't deserve to be a casualty of the weekend.

[knife_bender]

"Yeah the plant was an interesting touch," he said. "At least he remembered I'd never actually keep a plant in the house for him to knock over."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Well, now you have a plant," Annie said, trying to see the bright side. "I think this is the kind that like, cleans the air, too. He kind of inadvertently did you a favor?"

Because she was going to save this plant, so help her, and now he had a nice houseplant, so there. (Which...Annie would probably have to water.)

[knife_bender]

"What am I supposed to do with a plant?" he asked.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Water it," Annie suggested as she tried to right the plant. "Breathe the clean air it provides you. Enjoy its cute stripey leaves."

[knife_bender]

"Do you want it?" he asked. Because he had no use for clean air or cute stripey leaves.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I can visit it when I come over." And make sure it hadn't died. "It's your plant. Don't you think it'd piss Five off more if you, like, took care of his spite plant?"

The Annie way of getting back at people involved forcibly finding a route to positivity and making the best of it. It was occasionally kind of effective!