knife_bender | MHA #2 Sunday Morning

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MHA #2 Sunday Morning

Yesterday had been uneventful for Diego, and he only minimally teased Annie about somehow getting roped into teaching before going back to his place and doing what they usually did when they were alone together. He probably should have known that an average day was just a prelude to a truly weirdass day.

Right now however everything was calm and quiet and Diego was fast asleep with an arm and a leg flopped over Annie because being unconscious would not stop the cuddling.

[For two!]

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Good, he was glad he and Annie were on the same page here. Diego got out of bed (not naked, you're welcome, Five) and headed towards the kitchen...

...and immediately threw a knife at the coffee maker. Because he was not above destroying his own stuff to make a dramatic entrance.

Okay, Annie (who was also not naked!) was not willing to destroy her boyfriend's stuff in order to make a dramatic entrance, but she was doing her dramatic glowing-hands-and-eyes superhero pose while also trying to insinuate herself in front of Diego, because what if this maniac had a gun?

Though it did not seem like this particular maniac had a gun.

No, this maniac immediately teleported away from the coffee maker, the other side of the room in order to casually slouch in their general direction. "Really, Diego?"

And if he had a gun, he would have used it before they woke up, thank you very much.

Diego's eyes widened in shock. His expression then settled into one of extreme annoyance.

"Where the fuck have you been?!"

Look he knew the bigger question was how and why but the first thing Diego needed was an explanation of how Five got to skip out on those extra years of child abuse. It was unfair.

"Um." Well. This was all fairly unexpected. There was a child teleporting around Diego's apartment, now, and Annie's first thought was that this must be some kind of Fandom thing. Maybe one of those possible children she'd heard about? Probably not, given that apparently these two already were acquainted?

Annie let her eyes fade, which in turn meant everything stopped buzzing, though she kept her hands up for the moment because that had not exactly sounded welcoming. "You know this kid?"

Five rolled his eyes, teleporting back over to yank the knife out of the coffee maker and drop it onto the counter top. "This kid is older than you, so a little respect would be appreciated."

Then, he teleported over to the fridge to investigate what was in there. "And to answer your question, I was in the future."

Great, now he owed Klaus five bucks. Could this day get any worse?

"Annie, this is Five," Diego said. "You don't have to give him any respect."

Especially considering he broke into the apartment and was now rifling through his fridge.

Annie was at least going to be a little more polite and lower her hands, now. "Oh." Oh, sure, it was just Diego's brother who had disappeared when they were younger. No big deal. And in spite of the absurdity of the situation - and the fact that Five had broken in - Annie couldn't help the impulse to try to salvage the situation a little and make a good impression. "Um, hi."

And now she just had more questions. Like a lot more questions.

"I thought you were all the same age?" she finally landed on.

"If you go by the year we were born, we are," Five said, making face at the lack of food before moving on to the cabinets to steal some Poptarts. "If you go by the time spent in the future, I am nearly thirty years older than him now."

He followed that little detail up with a smug look at Diego.

Yeah he was not jealous that Five was Dad's age. Gross.

"So, what, you disappear for thirty years and just randomly decide to come back and break into my apartment?" Diego said, moving closer so he could push Five out of the way of his goddamn Poptarts. "Dude, get out of my shit."

This was gonna end in a slap fight.

You know what, Annie still had a bunch of questions - like, starting with why Five was a little boy and not sixty or whatever he was claiming? But she could feel the impending slap fight, and plus this was the first of Diego's siblings she'd met, and no matter how unexpected it was, she had to try.

"It's very nice to meet you, Five." And it looked like a bad time to attempt a handshake, so she just waved, looking incredibly weirded about this whole thing despite her better efforts.

Five teleported just out of Diego's reach with the box of Poptarts, treating his brother very much like the minor annoyance that he was.

He eyed Annie for a minute, clearly taking stock of her and her place here. And then immediately dismissing her. Sorry, Annie. You got the least friendly one!

"What year is it for you?" he demanded of his brother. With a Poptart half in his mouth.

"Sorry, he's an asshole," Diego said to Annie. "He's always been like that."

He then pointed a finger at Five. "And you don't get to ask me questions, especially when you come in after sixteen years looking like you haven't hit puberty yet."

"It's 2021." Annie really wanted Five to like her, okay? Even if he was an asshole. "And...I could go?"

She wasn't moving to leave, like, at all, because she wanted to see all this play out, but she felt like she had to offer out of politeness.

"That would be ideal," Five replied brightly, lifting the other half of his Poptart in a toast. "And Dad got one thing right. Time travel is... unpredictable when done without the aid of technology."

"No, she gets to stay seeing as she's actually wanted here." Diego did get some satisfaction knowing Five had to deal with thirty-something years with the knowledge that Dad was right about something. He knew how much that sucked.

"It is 2021 here," Diego said. "But it's 2019 back home."

In the city with no name.

You know, wherever that was!

"Can I help with anything?" You know, so she'd have something to do besides just openly watch them argue? "I could heat those up," she added, gesturing to the Poptarts. With the toaster, not her hands.

The coffeemaker was clearly a lost cause, which was a shame because she would really like some coffee at a minimum to deal with this whole thing right now.

"Oh god, you're dating mom," Five realized after a moment.

Diego actually flushed a little bit. "I am not!"

Yeah, okay, maybe he should have asked Annie to leave. Too late now.

"He is not, and you're rude," Annie decided, kind of deciding that maybe she didn't need Five to like her that bad. At least for now. Plus it was kind of hard to take anything Five said seriously because he was a child (if a very articulate and old-acting child.) And also she was sort of flattered to be compared to their mom since she seemed nice!

But, like, not touching the Oedipal implications there with a ten-foot pole. "You can just eat it cold, then, never mind."

Wait until she learned more about Allison and Luther!

"He really is," Five replied with a vaguely amused huff of laughter. "Have you seen the others?"

"Klaus," Diego replied, wandering back over to Annie's side before he did something like punch his brother. He brushed his fingers and against her hand but didn't actually take it because, you know, if she wanted to do something like punch Five he wouldn't exactly complain.

"Do you know about Ben?"

Annie was kind of considering it! Though, fortunately, she didn't need proximity or even both hands if she got annoyed enough at Five to do something about it, and if Diego was going to bring up Ben then she was just going to go ahead and take that hand and squeeze it lightly.

Not only because this whole situation was this whole situation and Annie herself needed a little support, but also because - like, holy shit, this must be crazy for Diego. While she had known that Five disappeared when they were kids, she had kind of figured that for more of a...sad thing? Like Ben? And not, like, an angry thing?

Also it was just now occurring to her that all the other Hargreeves siblings had normal names in addition to the numbering thing, and it was kind of weird that Five seemed to just be Five?

Good. Then he still had time to fix this. They'd all been together when they'd died.

"Yes," Five replied, expression sobering a bit at the reminder. "Vanya's book--"

Well, he had mixed feelings on it.

"Fuck Vanya's book," he said, sparing a quick glance at Annie. Because he hadn't mentioned that book for a reason and now it was out in the open.

"What are you even doing here, Five?" Diego said. "Why don't you go visit Dad, he's been pining for you."

Well. He put up a portrait anyway.

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