knife_bender | Around Town | Late Thursday Morning

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Around Town | Late Thursday Morning

Okay, well, it had been pretty well established that patrolling the town was useless, but what else were people like Diego supposed to do? It had been hammered in his head since birth to take action, even if the efforts were futile.

Which probably also explained Five's determination to stop the apocalypse even though he had nothing to go on.

So, yeah. Walking around town yet again. For some reason. Maybe he'd find a hole to jump in.

[For a few!]

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Steve was pretty sure that the raccoons that they'd interviewed at the station this morning were the ones they'd interviewed yesterday, only with fake mustaches and glasses and that he'd had to deal with that without Danny yelling about it and tossing his hands in the air and complaining was just...

Not his favorite thing. So he'd gone for a walk.

"Hey," he said with a tiny smile when he saw Diego. "Good to see you."

Steve didn't have many friends and some of them kept disappearing, which was not great for the ol' abandonment issues.

"Hey," Diego said. "How did the raccoon wrangling go?"

"One of them tried to bite Calvin through the armor," Steve said. "I'm pretty sure the whole thing is pointless."

"I bet it was funny though." They needed to get whatever joy they could during these times.

"Hilarious," Steve admitted, snickering. "Calvin did a little dance and everything."

"Well, there's a legit fear of rabies there," he said. "I don't blame him."

Steve nodded. "I think my booster's up to date but I should probably check, huh."

Eventually.

Diego would have to be dragged kicking and screaming to get a vaccination so you bet your ass all of his were way overdue. He'd rather get rabies.

"Of course the local raccoons are all drunks, maybe the alcohol made their mouths sterile."

"I'm not anxious to find out," Steve admitted. "That's what the Troopers are for."

It really wasn't, but sure, Steve.

"Anyway, we've learned a lot of rude raccoon gestures but nothing really useful. The raccoons say they don't even dig holes and we should talk to groundhogs or something?"

"Ugh. This is so fucking useless." Diego pulled a knife out of his harness just to have something to do with his hands. Even if it was just anxiously flipping it in the air.

"You mean walking in literal circles isn't doing it for you?" Steve asked.

"Funnily enough it's not," he said. "I do know this town like the back of my hand now though."

"Did you see the weird buffalo things?" Steve asked. "One showed up the office yesterday."

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"So if you fell down a hole," Annie said to Steve, casually (because the other option right now was panic, so how about forced-casual?) "and you had a rope, do you think you could climb out? Like how you climbed up to Rey's the morning after the Christmas party?"

"Depends how deep the hole is, but in general, yeah," Steve said. "Why?"

"Thinking about tying rope around all of us," Annie said, well aware of how stupid this plan was. "Like we're mountain climbers. Then we could maybe rapel out if we fell in?"

"Depends how fast the hole closes back up, too," Steve said. "I wish we had video footage of these things. I'm quick, but I don't know how quick. We trained going up and down helicopters under fire."

He pursed his lips. "Think we could hook the radio squirrels up with GoPros?"

"That's not a bad idea," Annie said, eyes widening as she just went ahead and latched right onto this, because it was the first new idea she'd heard in days. "And then if we can get the footage from the squirrels -- or just, like, set it to upload automatically -- we can at least see what we're dealing with."

Because she'd accepted that as soon as one showed up, they'd all fall in, too.

"I think I have a couple back in the apartment," Steve said, and really, don't ask why, Annie. Steve was just paranoid that way. "Do you want to sweet talk the squirrels?"

"Probably better me than you or Diego," Annie said, practically. Also totally unsurprised that Steve had GoPros. Why wouldn't he? "We'll need a bunch of rum, probably?"

"Yeah," Steve said. "I used up my stash of plastic fake police badges on the raccoons yesterday."

So get ready for a lot of raccoons pretending to be cops, Annie. Steve hadn't thought that through.

At least that was a funny image, and Annie would take all the funny images she could get right now.

"Like for children?" she checked, actually smiling. "Did you teach them the Miranda warning?"

"Like for children," Steve confirmed. "They were very shiny?"

"They probably could have been yogurt lids and you'd achieve the same effect," Annie noted. "Do the squirrels like anything besides rum?"

Glitter, maybe?

"Gossip?" Steve said, making a face.