MHA # 2 | Sunday Evening

[knife_bender]

The whole family dinner thing had not been Diego's idea. In fact he made it abundantly clear that he thought it would be a disaster. But it was three against one, so Diego ordered a couple pizzas and invited Five and his abomination over to eat with them.

This was the weirdest goddamn weekend.

[For Hargreeves and Hargreeves adjacent]

Comments

[apocalypsehow]

EXCUSE YOU, THEY HAS A REMARKABLY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP FOR THIS FAMILY.

"I thought Dolores didn't want kids," Fives said faintly, taking a much more measured sip of margarita.

[defenderofdesmoines]

Well, Annie was staring fairly clear horror at all of this, but at least tried to recover.

"It's just a possibility," she tried, gesturing to Tim and trying to look, you know, normal when she looked at him.

Except how it wasn't, because what the actual hell?

[knife_bender]

Diego came back to the table with two beers. They were both for him. "You and I are gonna have a talk about Dolores."

[apocalypsehow]

Five shot him a look that implied Diego was talking crazy here. This family didn't engage in open and honest emotional communication.

Also, he better get a margarita for even humoring Diego through it.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"So Tim must take after his mom," Annie offered, because it was the absolute nicest way she could voice, 'So is Dolores a damn mannequin?'

That made no sense, but there was a teleporting mannequin apparently eating pizza at the table, so.

[knife_lights]

"Looks-wise, I guess." Guess? "I think his personality is all Uncle Five though."

Yeah, can't you tell by Tim's acerbic wit?

[apocalypsehow]

Tim was onto his second slice of pizza, sauce on that mannequin face.

Again, y'all need to stop thinking about it.

"Well. It's good to know that you're around in the future," Five said with a sense of smugness that he must have succeeded in saving the world then.

[knife_lights]

"Duh. Tim's our favorite cousin, but don't tell." Because then someone's feelings might be hurt. "Tim, you've got something like, right here."

Autumn casually indicated her own entire face.

They had also eaten with Tim before, clearly.

[knife_bender]

Diego gave Five a look. Don't bring up the apocalypse at the dinner table. He worked hard to try to convince Annie that it wasn't a big deal.

"I don't even want to know about your other cousins." God only knows what kind of monsters Luther and Klaus would manage to have, if Tim is what happened when Five procreated.

[apocalypsehow]

What about Vanya's weird semi-adopted past kid?

"Allison has a daughter, doesn't she?" Five asked as a napkin seemed to just appear in Tim's hand at some point in there.

[knife_lights]

"Yeah, but Claire's, like, thirty." Which meant Claire could be anywhere from twenty-five to forty years old in their timeline, helpfully. "So she doesn't hang out much."

[knife_lights]

Ben looked over at Tim with a smile on his face for a moment before laughing. "Yeah, she really hated it when we asked if she got any gifts from her uncle-stepfather that one Christmas."

In case if anybody was wondering if Allison and Luther got over that weird thing between them at any point in life.

[apocalypsehow]

Five's face said all he needed to say about that.

"Thankfully I left before they hit puberty."

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie was kind of clearly working to keep her face somewhat neutral, because no, she had no idea about Luther and Allison, and now she had Questions. Plus the twins were, like, talking to that mannequin like it was talking back, and she was just going to have a little more of her margarita to deal, here.

"I think it's really nice how it sounds like everyone sees each other at holidays and stuff," she contributed, because that seemed like a safe enough thing to comment upon. Plus it totally meant the apocalypse went fine, you guys. Totally fine!

[knife_bender]

"Sure, that is a word for it." He could only imagine what kind of holiday-themed fights happened.

[apocalypsehow]

"How many fist-fights break out on average?" Five had to ask.

Because both he and Diego knew better than Annie.

[knife_lights]

"Depends on if Uncle Luther's there," Autumn supplied, darting a glance at her father before looking over to Ben. "Most of us just use our powers."

Did that make anything better? At all?

[knife_bender]

“If Luther’s there then there’s more fights,” Diego explained to Annie.

Just ignore he was leaving out there’s more fights because Diego was the one starting them.

[apocalypsehow]

"Luther and Diego lack brain cells when placed in the same room together," Five said for Annie's benefit, squinting at the bottom of his empty margarita.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I was gonna say, it's not like Luther's fighting by himself," Annie said with an amused little lift of her brows towards Diego. "Well, at least the kids aren't hitting each other, I guess?"

She'd take it as a win.

[knife_bender]

“How could you even fight Tim?” Diego asked.

[betterthanacube]

Tim was suddenly behind Diego. Because you he was totally able to fight! Via psychological warfare, mostly.

Sorry not sorry, Diego.

[knife_lights]

"Yeah, you generally don't want to piss off Tim," Autumn offered casually, totally unfazed by this change.

"Tick off," she amended with a slightly guilty look towards Annie.

[knife_bender]

“That is the creepiest fucking thing.” At least Diego was old enough to curse in public.

[apocalypsehow]

And they didn't even know about Christopher yet.

"Well, you did goad him," Five said with a sigh. "Are there more margaritas?"

Yes, get your pre-teen brother drunk.