Voicemail

[knife_bender]

It's Diego. Leave a message.

Comments

[grenadesandohana]

Was it weird to text a dude condolences? Steve wasn't sure, but here he was, doing it anyway.

Heard about your dad on the radio today. Sorry, man. Guessing you're heading out for a funeral--want to get drunk and start a bar fight when you get back?

[knife_bender]

Thanks, man. I'm good, my dad wasn't the greatest. And by that he meant he really sucked.

I might get into a fight at this funeral without alcohol. Siblings are gonna be together for the first time in a decade.

[grenadesandohana]

Siblings are the worst to fight. Mary's like 100 pounds soaking wet but she's a hairpuller.

[knife_bender]

My brother Luther is 6'5" and has super strength. Luckily he's slow.

[grenadesandohana]

Take him down as a warning to the rest? Five's probably a hairpuller too, huh.

[knife_bender]

...actually Diego was the hair puller and biter in the family. Not that he would admit it to Steve.

Annie probably would frown at that. Have bail money ready anyway. Just in case.

[grenadesandohana]

Hairpulling was perfectly valid! Steve would 100 percent kick someone in the nuts if they deserved it or he felt like it.

How much we talking so I'm ready? Thousands?

[knife_bender]

Probably just hundreds. I'm not gonna kill anybody. Probably.

[grenadesandohana]

Wait to see how the post-funeral food is before throwing punches, Steve advised, and if you need to, aim for the veggie tray. No one was gonna eat that anyway.

Very helpful, Steven. Truly.