Voicemail

[knife_bender]

It's Diego. Leave a message.

Comments

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie was no longer a damn horse, which meant she could use her hands again! And, more importantly, send texts to make sure that other people were also not horses.

no longer a pony. crossing my fingers you aren't either?

Followed quickly by really glad to have fingers to cross again, it's awesome

[knife_bender]

In response Diego sent a picture of his own hand with a knife in it.

Which probably would have been threatening if you didn't know how much he loved his knives.

[defenderofdesmoines]

GOOD. I was kind of worried about you.

Beyond just the baseline it-is-worrisome-we're-ponies thing.

Wacky Phone Day!

[hatesparadise]

Well, that was a message that he got there.

Pretty sure you got the wrong number there. Not a kid, not interested in dating you. But best of luck.

Phone Day!

[defenderofdesmoines]

Okay, well, first of all, Annie was barely sure of who had even sent this message. (Shoe Guy, right? Shoe Guy Who Had Had the Pool Party. He had a name, and she'd remember it eventually, but unfortunately Ignis was totally doomed to be Shoe Guy forever to probably several people.)

But really, that message was both confusing and kind of rude, and Annie wasn't really sure why? But she needed an explanation.

WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY AND BOSSY?????

Re: Phone Day!

[knife_bender]

Went over here!

Re: Wacky Phone Day!

[knife_bender]

Went here!

Phone Day!

[lilac_eyed_lieutenant]

At this point, Tisarwat almost was wondering if something weird was going on with the communications, but she supposed she shouldn't be surprised. The technology on this planet was abysmally inadequate.

Either way, no matter how confused she was, she was still going to attempt to sort out some of these bizarre messages she was getting:

I'm sorry, I'm not even sure if I know you? Which makes this seem even more inappropriate. Perhaps she should just kill you anyway and save some time.

Because, yeah, they were still flirting around the edges of that sort of thing, but she was pretty certain Lucille would not approve.

[badassprodigy]

Okay. Skywalker was being really weird. At least for Anakin. Maybe he didn't want to admit it? Didn't hurt to be helpful and give the guy some advice.

If you don't want to know, why are you asking? And if inflatables are your thing, no judgement from me. There's a wide line of inflatable toys at Dite's that will probably service your needs.

Phone day

[fates_jaye]

I don't know what you're talking about, I don't even have a boyfriend. Unless Eric told you something.

[grenadesandohana]

My drama? I am the least dramatic person on this whole damn island.

Wacky Phone Day!

[thedadalorian]

What was wrong with this town and their love of explosives?

I've already said I don't WANT any explosives. I can get my own if I need them anyway.

[what_the_shock]

From here!

Hey, whoa, I am SO not the person to keep an eye on anyone! Whoever this is, you better get your nannies from somewhere else.

Wacky Phones 2021

[atreideslioness]

Of COURSE Ghanima was returning this call.

"To be perfectly blunt, no, I do not trust you to know that fire is bad," Ghanima said cheerfully. "I shall be judging you and your judgement until the end of time. I've met your family, after all."

[grenadesandohana]

Here, have another one, Diego: Dude, I'm not that kind of guy. Of course I know you're taken.

[firstofitskind]

From here.

Would you PLEASE tell your brother he's got the wrong number? He keeps texting me looking for you.

[grenadesandohana]

Was it weird to text a dude condolences? Steve wasn't sure, but here he was, doing it anyway.

Heard about your dad on the radio today. Sorry, man. Guessing you're heading out for a funeral--want to get drunk and start a bar fight when you get back?

[knife_bender]

Thanks, man. I'm good, my dad wasn't the greatest. And by that he meant he really sucked.

I might get into a fight at this funeral without alcohol. Siblings are gonna be together for the first time in a decade.

[grenadesandohana]

Siblings are the worst to fight. Mary's like 100 pounds soaking wet but she's a hairpuller.

[knife_bender]

My brother Luther is 6'5" and has super strength. Luckily he's slow.

[grenadesandohana]

Take him down as a warning to the rest? Five's probably a hairpuller too, huh.

[knife_bender]

...actually Diego was the hair puller and biter in the family. Not that he would admit it to Steve.

Annie probably would frown at that. Have bail money ready anyway. Just in case.

[grenadesandohana]

Hairpulling was perfectly valid! Steve would 100 percent kick someone in the nuts if they deserved it or he felt like it.

How much we talking so I'm ready? Thousands?

[knife_bender]

Probably just hundreds. I'm not gonna kill anybody. Probably.

[grenadesandohana]

Wait to see how the post-funeral food is before throwing punches, Steve advised, and if you need to, aim for the veggie tray. No one was gonna eat that anyway.

Very helpful, Steven. Truly.

Phone Day

[hasaknightjob]

(From here)

Marc assumed Gladio was just fucking with him. Which he respected so he texted, unfortunately not to him, You're the one with the weird friends or family or whatever they are. You're telling me one of them doesn't know how to do something with fruit?

[heroic_jawline]

"I really hope random men aren't just inviting themselves to your room! Please let me know if this becomes a problem, all right?"

Poor optimistic Steve, thinking hitting redial would work today.