A hotel in Sandusky, Ohio | Monday Night

[knife_bender]

Diego had made a promise to Annie to not hurt The Deep. He fully intended to keep that promise. However nothing was said about not watching while other people hurt The Deep. It was a loophole, and he knew it, but one he fully intended to take advantage of.

She probably shouldn't have told him that the asshole got transferred to Sandusky today.

He hadn't fully explained to Steve why he had brought Five along to their little adventure, but he figured the situation would explain itself soon enough.

"Okay, so, I figure we pretend Five is a fan," Diego said as the elevator dinged to let them off on the upper floors. "And we're just his exasperated guardians letting him meet his hero."

He said 'guardians' like he didn't know he would yet again be mistaken for Five's father. At least Steve also now had to deal with being one of Five's dads this time.

[For a few!]

Comments

[shitty_aquaman]

"Did she send you?" The Deep asked, still super confused about all of this. (He wasn't exactly, like, not prone to confusion when he wasn't being repeatedly struck in the head, and then that wasn't helping, either.) "The bi -- Starlight told me she'd burn my eyes out but she didn't say anything about this shit."

To be fair, she also hadn't mentioned having a boyfriend at all, much less gotten into, 'My boyfriend, who hangs out with a Navy SEAL and a murderous child.'

"I'm sorry," he added again, just in case he'd said something that made them want to hit him again.

[grenadesandohana]

Everything about The Deep made Steve want to hit him again. He had the most punchable face since James Franco.

"Of course she didn't send us," Steve said, rolling his eyes.

And then punching him one more time. "And I know what word you were about to say and wow, no."

[apocalypsehow]

"But, if you're involved in anything with her because of this little visit," Five said, stalking forward like he wasn't, you know, a twelve year old child. "I'll come back and my brother won't be here to rein me in."

Did he have to threaten him with the blade of the ax to the crotch? Yes. Absolutely.

[knife_bender]

"I'd take him seriously, I once saw him stab a guy in the neck with a butter knife." Was he lying? He could be, but he wasn't.

"I think we've sufficiently humiliated this asshole. For now," Diego said, going to open the door. "Shame it's too late to go to Cedar Point while we're here."

[shitty_aquaman]

"Vought says I'm not supposed to talk to her at all," The Deep muttered, bent over his knees. "Maybe I should tell --"

Stop talking, Kevin.

"Got it," he said instead, trying to sound tough amidst all the wincing.

[grenadesandohana]

"I never want to see you again," Steve said, getting way up into The Deep's space. "Make sure that happens. Don't be a dumbass. Resist your--" he gestured uselessly with his hand, "--you know, everything about yourself."

[apocalypsehow]

Five teleported over to the door with Diego, letting the ax clatter to the floor. "Good chat!"

[knife_bender]

"Surprised you didn't want to keep the ax as a souvenir," Diego mumbled. "Come on, Steve, I'll buy you cheese fries."

And you know midwest cheese fries would be really heart attack inducing and delicious.

[grenadesandohana]

"Ooh, cheese fries," Steve said, grinning. "Now I can tell Danny we went to a sports bar."

And skip the whole "beating a dude who deserved it up" part.

[apocalypsehow]

"And margaritas, right?" Yes, give the twelve year old drinks, guys.

[knife_bender]

"You know, I think a child drinking margaritas might be a little conspicuous here." Weird, right?

[grenadesandohana]

"Get us sent away for being terrible fake parents," Steve agreed, snickering.

[apocalypsehow]

"I'm older than both of you." He was going to steal from the mini-bar if you forced him to, guys.

[knife_bender]

He looked over at Steve, realizing that statement needed an explanation. "Time travel."

[grenadesandohana]

"Huh," Steve said. "That explains how you know your way around a fire ax."

Maybe. If you squinted.

[apocalypsehow]

"That was mostly from our childhood," Five replied, pretty matter of factly as he chose to lead the way out of there.

[knife_bender]

"Yeah, Steve already got a brief introduction about our dad," Diego said. "What else is there to do in Ohio aside from rollercoasters?"

Look, they were here, they might as well make the most of it.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve had absolutely no idea: he'd only been to the coasts. "Um. Drive around? Start a bar fight with racists?"

[apocalypsehow]

"Cow tipping?" Five also had no clue what happened in middle America outside of murder.

[knife_bender]

"Clearly I'm asking the wrong people," he said. "Let's go to a bar, order cheese fries and try to sneak Five drinks."

And then they can get into an intense argument over whether Skyline Chili was good or not.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve grinned. "Sounds like fun. Maybe they have a pool table and we can make some money, too."

[apocalypsehow]

"Do better with darts." That was as much talking up of Diego as he was physically capable of.