knife_bender | 75 Godiva Street

Entry tags:

75 Godiva Street | Late Morning

It had been a long and sleepless, but satisfying, 4 weeks with the twins at home. They were turning a month old on Friday, and Annie and Diego finally decided it was time for them to be introduced to the rest of the world. Diego would miss their little family bubble they had for a month, but he had to admit he was looking forward to talking to adults again.

They had sent texts out to various people inviting them over if they so wished (he was not about to force people to see his children), and ordered a pizza now that they were done with the healthy food Donna had supplied them with. The twins were dressed in cute outfits that they probably wouldn't put up with a couple months from now.

Of course Maggie immediately spit up on her little dress but he figured people were gonna have to get used to that like he had over the last couple weeks.

[Open post, if you think you got a text you did]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"It is a super creepy concept," Diego said. "That I will begrudgingly put up with because of childhood magic."

Religion was a hard no, but Santa he'd put up with.

"I mean, I don't think we need to go full Santa surveillance state," Annie acknowledged, wrinkling her nose up a little. At least she'd known for awhile that Santa wasn't real; the threat that Jesus was up in Heaven, caring about who she kissed and what lies she told, had stayed real a lot longer. "But I do like the idea of, like, someone you aren't related to brought you presents, just because you're a cool effing kid."

Maggie got a fond little adjustment to her dress on cool, there. Also, no, Annie wasn't swearing in front of the babies who didn't yet understand language, in case you were curious.

"Yeah that would be pretty exciting for a kid," Diego admitted. "But we're not doing that narc elf though."

"I kinda think if we're doing our job right, we don't need to outsource the discipline like that, anyway," Annie replied, insanely optimistically. "Like, they should be good just because Mom and Dad said so, not because some elf is gonna tell the guy who brings them presents. Like, we also give presents, guys."

And they were also technically Santa, too.

"And as someone who did grow up in a surveillance state, it doesn't really stop you from doing bad shit." He clearly did not mind cursing around the babies.

"I feel like I should get spit up towels ready for everyone to put on their shoulders."

Annie darted a look towards the babies like they were suddenly going to start using the S-word, but nodded all the same. "I mean, I don't plan on making anyone hold them, but people tend to offer."

Annie was, in fact, a champion at Can-I-Hold-Your-Baby? And not even just, you know, professionally!

"Everyone's gonna want to hold them," Diego declared. "Look at how cute they are."

Even when covered in regurgitated milk.

"And it's a good day to hold something warm and cuddly, too," Annie observed, peeking out a window like she was hoping for snow. (Because she was -- which was dumb, because it wasn't that cold.) "I don't know how thrilled we're going to be about lugging around a couple of clingy nine month-olds in August."

Probably about as thrilled as Annie had been to be pregnant in the same time frame, honestly.

"Maybe their sweet stroller comes with a/c." He hadn't looked at the instructions all the way through yet.

"I wouldn't be surprised if their sweet stroller comes with, like, total climate control," Annie agreed, already envisioning taking the kids out in it mid-February during a blizzard. She could jog! In her YakTrax!

Annie was deluded on multiple fronts there, probably.

"Which maybe defeats the point of a stroller?" She'd never really put a lot of thought into the point, but it did seem to be to like, expose your baby to the outside world or whatever.

"I thought the point of a stroller was to give our arms a break." Or arm, rather. It had been a rough couple weeks when Diego had his hand cast on.

Yeah he'd really kind of started parenting on Hard Mode, there.

"And our backs, since that's also the point of the cuddly thing," Annie pointed out, miming a baby carrier. "But I think we're both gonna end up with, like, killer biceps no matter what."

Hell yeah, that was an optimistic thought. Come out of the other side of baby-motherhood with Queen Maeve arms.

"And then we could bench press the kids," he joked. "Just mix in family time and gym time together."

"And then we'll get them conditioned to where they can bench each other," Annie noted thoughtfully. "You know, when they're older."

Kindergarten, at least.

"Holy shit that'd be so cool." Probably only cool to them. And Steve. "You know what I'm excited for? Making a kid-friendly ninja warrior setup in the backyard."

"Wouldn't exactly mind a mom-friendly one to start," Annie joked. (Half-joked.) "And like, imagine -- I know you didn't do the public school thing, honey, but our kids are going to have such good recess skills."

Like, they were for sure going to be first and second picks for dodgeball their entire gym class careers.

"What counts as a recess skill?" Was it fighting? Because usually between lessons Diego and his siblings would be fighting.

"Being able to lift up a classmate," Annie offered immediately, thinking back. "Hand-eye coordination. General agility. Like, most kid games involve dodging and running or, like, climbing."

Oh, no, her precious breakable kids. For the first time ever, Annie saw a benefit to the whole Compound V thing -- she'd never once worried her mom by climbing a tree. (Unless a dress was in danger of dirtying.)

"Oh then, yeah, our kids will totally kick ass at recess skills," he said. "...and I'll be jealous I can't join them playing dodgeball."

Mostly because he'd give some child a concussion nailing them in the head with a ball.

"You would have been wildly unfair at dodgeball as a kid," Annie told him, shaking her head.

Annie's dodgeball advantages had even mostly just been good -- like, normal-good, not Diego-good -- aim, and a lack of bruises.

"Yeah, but I'm on the same playing field now," he said. "Except for the height. And weight. And training."

"Maybe we need, like, an adult dodgeball league," Annie suggested thoughtfully.

And by 'league,' she meant Diego and Steve. Maybe herself once she was back on her feet. And then surely there were other weirdos who, like, took this kind of a thing as a class over the summer, right?

"But there's a downside to that," Diego said. "I'd have to talk to other adults."

Like, he was grateful for the adult conversation now, but he was still Diego.

"Less than you'd think," Annie replied, waving a hand. "It's not exactly, like, a team sport with a lot of discussion involved."

At least, in her experience.

"That's true, you're just hitting people in the face with a ball." He did realize you could hit other parts of the body, yes.

(no subject)

defenderofdesmoines - 2023-11-28 19:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

knife_bender - 2023-11-28 19:17 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only