knife_bender | 75 Godiva Street

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75 Godiva Street | Afternoon

It wasn't exactly the ideal anniversary conditions with Annie on bedrest and Diego being constantly ready to rush to the hospital at any moment, but today was the day so they had to make do. He got food delivered (Chinese food, spicy for Annie because he read that would help induce labor), and stopped by J,GOB to get a tiny cake for two (or four, rather). It wasn't a trip to another country or a fancy dinner, but they were going to celebrate, damn it.

"Heeeey," Diego said as he came into their room, arms full of food. "Happy anniversary."

[For the wife and allllll the Sunday SP]

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Well, maybe if the twins were erased from existence, Annie and Diego might go a little crazy, too. That seemed allowable.

"Yeah," Annie agreed, frowning as she thought -- like, most of the people she knew with kids had been parents before she'd met them, so she didn't have a comparison point of, like, whether MM had been more normal before Janice. (Though, like, Diego had known his sister before Claire, so that was something.) "Maybe we can try to keep each other in check? Like, if I stop talking about anything but diapers and their sleep schedule, that's a thing to watch for."

For the record, Annie foresaw, 'I will babyproof this entire goddamn house and now it's my personality for awhile' as being the trap Diego might fall into, there.

Oh yeah, once the kids started crawling he would be babyproofing everything. But DIY. Meaning all of the corners on tables would be covered in pool noodle technology.

"I like that plan," he said, smiling. "I'll take you by the shoulders and go 'remember we are young, hot and cool' and hope you snap out of it."

"Hopefully I'll be all three of those things again by then."

You know, weirdly, Annie did not feel her hottest these days. But she was also kind of...really, really incentivized to get back into things once she was able to move enough to burn some calories, even if she was also doing her best to try to stay in the moment and enjoy the only pregnancy she was planning to ever have. It was kind of wonderful, in a way she couldn't explain, to be so uniquely close with the babies.

But she also already missed going for walks, even if bedrest wasn't so bad.

"You are all three of those things now, babe," Diego said. "Though I do get that being on bedrest per doctor's orders isn't, like, the most sensual reason to be in bed."

He imagined it must be like your mom making you stay in bed when you were sick.

"You have kept me in bed for way more fun reasons," Annie pointed out, leaning over to press a soft kiss behind his ear in a fun little reminder of the kinds of times they would, again, probably need a sitter to enjoy again in the future. "But that's also how I think I got in this position."

Damn her hot husband and, like, their desire for children and subsequent tons of intentionally unprotected sex.

"Hey, we don't know that for sure." They had sex in places that weren't beds all of the time!

"It does kind of make it hard to narrow down when they were conceived, exactly," Annie admitted, flushing slightly. "Could've been in the kitchen."

It had probably been during sex pollen, actually, if she really thought about it. That would be right in line, give or take a week or two.

"You don't think we'll need that information for the future do you?" Diego asked, half-joking. "Like maybe the doctors will need to know."

"I used to know a girl whose parents named her after the city she was conceived in," Annie offered, wrinkling her nose.

At least 'Omaha' seemed sort of like a name, right?

"But otherwise no, I think it's probably just for us," she decided, bumping her shoulder into Diego's. "Maybe it's better if we don't know for sure."

"Also I don't wanna brag, but our sex numbers are up there," he said. "It might be impossible to pinpoint."

"I don't know how people can be so sure," Annie agreed skeptically. "I mean, maybe if we'd been trying for awhile. I know some ladies keep a journal."

You know, for ovulating, but Annie was also picturing a lot of A+ sex tonight, we did it on the kitchen table and he did the thing I like to my neck, personally.

"You serious?" Diego asked. "Like a sex journal? Marking when they have sex? What if someone finds it? Or maybe they use codes."

Drawing of a heart on the calendar = sex happened.

An impossible code to crack.

"They probably use codes," Annie speculated. "'Cause like, we got lucky with our whole 'let's see what happens' approach, but people track ovulation and stuff to make sure they nail it? But also, like, how unromantic is that? 'Hi, honey, take off your pants, I'm ovulating and we have to bang right now.'"

...Annie could have made that work, actually, maybe.

"I don't know, I'd be into it." Shocking absolutely no one.

"You don't think it'd take some of the fun out of it to have it like, listed on a schedule?" Annie asked, lifting a brow. "I feel like it'd make it seem more like an obligation. Or a chore."

But then maybe part of the fun was making it so you didn't care about that part, once you were into it?

"Huh. Didn't think of it like that," he said. "I was mostly thinking about being ordered to take my pants off."

Typical.

"But we're going to have to, like, plan that kind of stuff after the kids are older, right?" At least if they were planning to do it somewhere other than the bedroom.

And even then.

"I think this is why most parents sign their kids up for after-school stuff, and like, sleepovers with their friends," Annie mused, nodding. "So Mom and Dad can have date night."

Read, scheduled sex all over their house that they'd probably been looking forward to all week.

"Oh that makes sense!" Diego said. "That is totally why parents are willing to drive their kids everywhere for sports and stuff."

Well, some of them also needed to live vicariously through their children's achievements and/or superpowers. Annie was pretty sure her folks hadn't been banging on the stairs while she was at tae kwon do, anyway.

(Ew.)

"And why kids go to summer camp," she added wisely, nodding. "I feel like that's the biggest thing people have warned me about, in a way -- I keep hearing we're gonna lose all our privacy."

And sleep. But that was almost like a joke at this point, the way she'd been warned about how tired they'd be.

"At least there's only two of them?" Diego said. "Because despite how big my house was growing up, there isn't hiding from seven kids."

Or from their dad's many, many cameras!

"Only two," Annie echoed fondly, giving him a little look. "But you're right -- that'll help keep it in perspective. Your mom had it way harder."

His mom had kind of been built for it, literally, but that was not the point.

"Hopefully the twins will be friends. That will give us a break," he said. "They seemed like friends when we met them, right?"

"You remember the margarita, right?" Annie replied, smiling at the memory. "Friends and also, like, partners in crime."

Who were also maybe psychic! Annie hadn't ruled that out entirely.

"Oh, yeah. We're in trouble," he said with a dramatic sigh. "We better enjoy this time while we can."

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75 Godiva Street | Afternoon

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