A Bar at Fell's Point | Baltimore, MD | Tuesday Evening

[knife_bender]

Danny seemed to think that Diego and Steve couldn't spend any time together without burning something down, but he also encouraged them to go to Baltimore together alone, so if something did burn down whose fault was it really?

Nothing seemed to be on fire so far, they had beer and crabby fries (which was just french fries covered in crab dip). Look at them being adults and not starting fights. They were totally responsible.

"It's kind of cruel to make the bar area of this city the one place with cobblestone streets," Diego said, eyeing the wobbly girls in heels outside the window.

[Eating shit on the cobblestone at Fell's Point is a rite of passage for some of us. For one and NFB due to distance!]

Comments

[knife_bender]

"We have interesting families," Diego said. "That's the word I choose to use."

Because it sounded better than "dysfunctional" or "so screwed up they should have been in therapy since birth".

[grenadesandohana]

Steve literally needed the governor to order him to therapy in order to go.

"Extremely interesting," Steve agreed with a rueful snort. "Do you tell stories that you think are normal, look over and see Danny looking appalled?"

[knife_bender]

"Once I did it on purpose," Diego said with a laugh. "I told him I was raised by an intelligent chimp and my mom was an android and he immediately ended the conversation."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve burst out laughing. "And he says I have aneurysm face."

He took a sip from his beer. "Were you raised by a chimp and an android?"

Because that was easily the least messed-up part of either of their childhoods.

[knife_bender]

Diego nodded. "Yeah, Pogo's been at my dad's side forever and Dad created Mom to keep seven kids in line."

It really was the only positive from his childhood.

[grenadesandohana]

"The tattoo he made you get doesn't have a tracker in it, right?" Steve checked.

[knife_bender]

"No, but the house we lived in had about two hundred cameras in it," Diego said. "As soon as we left he took it as a betrayal and pretended we didn't exist, thank god."

[grenadesandohana]

"That's healthy," Steve commented dryly. "How many of you left?"

[knife_bender]

"Just Luther stayed," Diego said. "He's always been a suck up. Thinks the sun shines out of Dad's ass."

[grenadesandohana]

"Sorry," Steve said genuinely. "Guess you don't talk to him much either?"

[knife_bender]

"Oh none of us talk to each other," Diego said with a shrug. "I mean, I talk to Five now but I didn't talk to him for, like, sixteen years because I thought he was dead but it turns out he traveled into the future."

Do you see how easily he could break Danny's brain, Steve? Do you see?

"So I guess I sort of get that thing with your mom on some level 'cause it surprised the hell out of me when he showed up."

[grenadesandohana]

Steve had read a lot of comic books, so he was just rolling with it.

"So you were happy but not really to see him?" Steve guessed.

[knife_bender]

"Oh, dude's a total dick." It was sort of a family trait.

[grenadesandohana]

But Steve liked dicks!

...wait.

Moving on!

"I am looking forward to meeting him someday. He's the one in the knee socks, right?"

[knife_bender]

Diego nodded. "Yeah. Unless there's suddenly an influx of boys wearing knee socks on the island, he should be the only one."

[grenadesandohana]

"If there is, you're my first phone call," Steve promised. "Is Five the only one named a number? Luther seems like a normal name."

[knife_bender]

"Oh, man, me explaining that whole thing will get you to give me that Danny appalled face," Diego said. "I refuse to let that happen."

[grenadesandohana]

"That bad, huh?" Steve said, signaling for more beers. "I promise not to try to mom you like Danno."

[knife_bender]

"I mean, he's not very good at that," Diego said. "Then again, he's competing against a android, so it's stiff competition."

[grenadesandohana]

"She was made to be perfect at it," Steve said, "I'm assuming. My mom experience is...different."

[knife_bender]

“No kidding,” Diego said. “Did she even apologize for all that or did she roll up expecting to be treated the same?”

[grenadesandohana]

"The second one," Steve said, nodding. "Kinda pissy I'd be having any sort of feelings about it, too."

So many issues sharing emotions, Diego. Just. So. Many.

[knife_bender]

"That seems about right," he said. "And then she moved in with you."

That was the weird part for him.

[grenadesandohana]

"For security reasons," Steve said with a tiny little eyeroll.

[knife_bender]

"How long did she stick around for?" he asked.