knife_bender | MHA # 2 | Tuesday Evening

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MHA # 2 | Tuesday Evening

Diego's day had been uneventful. Just the usual working out like a crazy person most of the day, still appreciative of the fact that his arm had fully healed. It was nice coming home to an apartment that didn't smell like burnt cardboard anymore.

He had just gotten out of the shower and into his more casual clothes (i.e. not a tactical uniform) and was grabbing a glass out of the kitchen because he finally remembered he needed to water the plant.

[For one!]

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"...Vanya's book," Annie admitted slowly, drawing out both words like maybe that'd help and offering the blackened book out to him for evidence. "It was on a table at the Perk."

Just wanted to get that out there right away, because look - Annie had been tempted to read it, and Annie had some apologizing to do, but she would never have sought it out and he needed to know that much.

Diego's expression immediately hardened. "How?"

He didn't actually expect her to have the answer to that. That was more the shock talking.

"I don't know." Which was the honest truth, either way. "It was just sitting there. Maybe someone left it there."

Or, again, maybe the island was fucking with her! Because, like, it had kind of worked, if that was the case.

"And you just picked it up and set it on fire?" he asked.

Annie worried her lower lip for a moment before she answered. "No."

Well, she had picked it up, and she had eventually set it on fire, but. There was an intervening period where she had also read a little bit of it.

"I read a couple of pages." And the inside dust jacket flaps. And had also talked to Danny about it.

Diego frowned. "You knew I didn't want you to read it."

Sure, he hadn't said it explicitly but his reaction when Five had mentioned the book pretty much said it all.

Yeah, Annie hadn't really had any doubts about whether this book was okay for her to read. Like, at all.

She nodded guiltily. "I did." Because, honestly, she could have just burned it to ash and left it in the street, but she was here now because she felt like she needed to confess what she'd done, not just that she'd found the book in the first place. "I'm so sorry, Diego. I shouldn't have even looked at it."

"You really shouldn't have," Diego said, sitting the glass down harder than he meant to. Great, now the plant was going to suffer because of all of this.

"So, read anything interesting?"

Annie flinched a little. (Nooooo, the poor plant.)

"Just about your schedule," she said, her voice low. "I didn't know you knew Greek."

Ancient Greek, specifically.

Diego started to pace, trying to keep his temper. "I'm so glad you learned that important tidbit of information. I hope it was worth it."

"Of course it wasn't," Annie replied, watching him pace and growing just a little more miserable with herself with every passing second. "I hate myself for reading even that much. I betrayed your trust, and...I'm just really sorry."

"I know you're sorry." He could see it on her face that she meant it. He was just so angry. Vanya writing that book was a betrayal that he never really got over, so Annie reading it brought all those emotions up again.

"I'm just confused--why did you do it?" he asked. "You already knew my childhood was fucked up, why did you need more detail?"

"I didn't need more detail," Annie argued softly, a little color coming into her cheeks as she swallowed around a lump forming in her throat. "I just - I had a moment of weakness because it was right there, and flipped through it. That's really all I read, the ancient Greek and the Shakespeare and the half hour on Saturdays and - Diego, as soon as I'd read it, I just wished I could take it back. I should've waited for you."

That was the biggest thing, for her - it made her sick to know that she was never going to get to learn that information from him. She'd taken a shortcut, and it wasn't something she could undo.

Diego ran a hand through his hair. She was making sense, and it was making it very hard for him to be as angry as he thought he should have been. As much as he would be if she had been anyone else. It would not be a pretty sight if Danny tried to hug him over what happened today.

"It's not something I would share," he admitted. "Why would I? It has nothing to do with us."

"Then I should've let that be your choice," Annie acknowledged, shaking her head. "And instead I took that away from you, and...invaded your privacy, and - anyway, that's why I burned it. So I wouldn't be tempted to read any more of it."

And so that no one else could just wander into their local coffee shop and decide it looked like interesting reading. At this point she'd happily hold a bonfire and burn every copy she could find.

"I wish you didn't feel the need to do that just to avoid temptation," Diego said, sighing. "I also wish I could be angrier with you."

He wasn't used to empathy overriding his anger. He didn't know if he liked it or not, but it wasn't like he wanted to be mad at Annie. If anything, it just made his decision to never speak to Vanya again even more warranted.

"I also didn't want anyone else reading it," Annie added quietly, watching him. "I deserve for you to be angry with me. I'm angry with me."

And just very disappointed in herself. Everyone made mistakes, but Annie would be reflecting on this one for a while.

Edited 2021-02-10 03:29 (UTC)

"Well I'm not." Disappointed was the better word to use. "I know it was a stupid mistake. I just don't know what to do right now."

Part of him wanted to tell her to leave so he could be alone and really let his anger at Vanya go (probably to the detriment of his own furniture). The other part wanted to put his arms around Annie and not let her go.

Annie nodded in understanding, twisting one of her rings a little nervously as she considered him.

"I could go," she offered, clearing her throat because she could feel a little prickling behind her eyes and the last thing she wanted was to make this about her feelings. "Give you some space. Um, here, I can take care of the plant, first, though?"

Because she also didn't want to go - she just also knew that as much as she ached to stay and try to comfort him and work through this, she had taken enough choice away from Diego already today.

And someone really should water the plant, which was why she was reaching for that glass of water.

Diego nodded, stepping back to put some space between them. "Yeah. I think I need some time."

Of course Diego would choose the option that would make things more difficult for the both of them.

Annie nodded, quickly taking the glass and briskly going to water the plant (and feeling kind of dumb for it, like, how transparent could she be?) and returning a few seconds later with the empty glass. At least those few seconds afforded her a little time to make sure she wasn't going to cry, at least not until she was alone.

"Okay. Well. You know where to find me. And I...really hate that I hurt you," she offered a little lamely, giving him a wobbly little smile before turning to go.

Diego nodded, really hating that he had been the one to put that look on her face. He barely held back from apologizing for it. "I'll call you."

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MHA # 2 | Tuesday Evening

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