Diablo Donuts | Baltimore | Tuesday Evening

[knife_bender]

Diego decided it was time he and Five met on common ground to discuss...well he didn't know what they were going to discuss but they couldn't just keep ignoring each other. The island wasn't that big and Five was a student in his girlfriend's class for god's sake.

So after only minor bickering over who was going to drive (Diego won because it was his goddamn car), they found themselves at a donut place that for some reason had a donut with Old Bay on it. Maryland, man.

"Your son is so cute," the waitress said, sitting down two cups of black coffee in front of them.

Diego sighed. He hated his life. "Thank you."

[For the brother and NFB, self!]

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[apocalypsehow]

"No one puked, so," Five agreed once he swallowed that bite.

Someone out there definitely puked. Probably over the blood thing.

[knife_bender]

"I mean, there's still a chance I'll puke from your driving." Just saying!

[apocalypsehow]

"Sounds like a you problem," Five replied, getting into the car that was inexplicably old looking. As all cars owned by the family were.

[knife_bender]

Diego could hear sirens getting closer to where they were and he was (wrongly) hoping that they were getting away in time to not be identified by anybody. He was gonna be banned from Baltimore at this rate.

"It'll be a you problem if I throw up on you," he said, getting into the car. "Vomit down your knee socks probably won't feel too good."

[apocalypsehow]

"I'll teleport away and then you'll have to clean it up," Five replied, starting up the car to get them moving. You know. Totally inconspicuous. Just a pre-teen driving a car with a bleeding guy and some donuts, officer.

[knife_bender]

What are you talking about, this was totally normal.

"Touché," he said, lifting his hand to look at his shoulder. "Annie is gonna kill me."

[apocalypsehow]

Five squinted at the wound for another moment, a weird form of understanding in there. Dolores would be so upset if he did something like this, he knew.

"It's not deep. Couple stitches."

[knife_bender]

Oh lord, when Diego found out about Dolores he was going to be even more worried.

"Yeah, well, she's bulletproof so she doesn't take this stuff lightly when it happens to me."

[apocalypsehow]

THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH DOLORES, OKAY?

"Bulletproof, huh? That's handy."

It really was, honestly.

[knife_bender]

SHE WAS A MANNEQUIN, FIVE. A MANNQEUIN.

"It's pretty common where she's from," he said. "She's nice, you know. Nice enough that I think she's going to keep trying to be friends with you even though you're an asshole."

[apocalypsehow]

THEY HAD A LONG, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.

Five wrinkled his nose at that. "What's she doing with you?"

[knife_bender]

"Hilarious," he said. "Glad to know you've honed your sense of humor over the last couple decades."

[apocalypsehow]

Five huffed out a barely audible laugh as he turned the car down an alley to avoid the red and blue lights rushing to the donut shop. Because, ugh, don't make him say it out loud or anything, but... he missed this. God how he missed this.

[knife_bender]

"I'm probably going straight to Annie's when we get back," Diego said, pointedly looking out the window. "So if you don't want to go back to the dorms looking, you know..."

Looking like you stabbed a man with a butter knife?

"You can clean up at my place. I have a spare bedroom."

[apocalypsehow]

You know what? Weirdly, the blood splatter didn't even register for him.

Five looked confused for a moment before glancing down at his gore covered uniform. "...thanks."

This was a moment. They were having a moment here.

[knife_bender]

Diego was just as uncomfortable with it as you were, Five. He wasn't going to even mention the new coffee maker and the fact he stocked the fridge. That was too close to acknowledging he cared.

"Don't think we're not going to talk about the whole end of the world thing. And whatever the hell that was back there."

[apocalypsehow]

Two could play at that game!

"And how you've apparently pissed off the Baltimore underworld."

[knife_bender]

"That wasn't me," Diego insisted. "That was me hanging out with my dumbass coworkers one time."

[apocalypsehow]

"Your co-workers?" Don't encourage him to investigate your work, Diego.

[knife_bender]

"I don't know!" Diego lifted up his hands in frustration, which only made him wince from his injury. "They're into some weird shit in Hawaii."

[apocalypsehow]

"Hawaii? Why would you come here?"

[knife_bender]

"I didn't go to Hawaii they're from Hawaii and they brought weird shit with them," Diego said. "I'm an innocent party here."

[apocalypsehow]

Five continued to level him with a deeply judgmental look. "Are you sure you didn't start it."

Because he knew you, Diego.

[knife_bender]

"Dude, ask either of them," Diego said. "Everything they touch explodes."

[apocalypsehow]

"Huh." Five was going to have to check this out. But right now he was ignoring the horrified looks from cars that passed him on the road.